Some thoughts from the last day or so: I am starting to understand more the love is a choice concept. Right now I am really feeling numb toward my W. With all the distance and coldness from her I basically feel nothing some days except the choice I have made to work on myself to keep this family together. Not sure if this is normal or if I am distancing myself in a negative way, but there it is. When we interact I am friendly and I listen but don't ask for anything. Then we go our separate ways like friendly neighbors.
On a positive note the renewed focus on my son has been so rewarding. I should have been doing this all along. He is fun to be with, so much energy and an amazing imagination!
Posting a few 180 behaviors that I feel need focus. 1. Consult W on important decisions especially in regards to S. Actually listen to her opinion and make a compromise. 2. Continued focus on anger management. Primarily when W starts to push my buttons. Being watchful of the triggers. 3. Ongoing listening and validating during conversations with W. But also a stronger focus on using that during normal conversation with other people so I build consistent habits.
Me-36 W-31 M-7 S-5 BD Dec/12- things were wrong for awhile, head was in the sand
Seeking means: to have a goal Finding means: to be free, to be receptive, to have no goal
