I often see similarities between the female LBS on this board...we tend to be "strong", sarcastic, controlling presences in life. As mentioned here by WFM, I too, tended to keep back. Hold a place to myself where I couldn't be hurt. The gift is we get to look really hard at ourselves and say "Do I want to live the rest of my life this way?"
Many have decided that no, they don't, and are finding new paths new ways of being. Discovering who they were and who they can be. IN this, AD, your journey has been remarkable, if you ever care to go back to beginning of your posts and see the growth happen. Kudos
I left the kids this morning to be picked up by their dad, and I'm working in front of a picture window in my home-away-from-home.
I was feeling really stressed out about things in general, had a frustrating day at work, worried about whether this trip was going to be painful or awkward for me, revved up because of the chores that needed doing before we left, and the usual feeling of being pulled in different directions with kids home for spring break while workload isn't taking a break. So I got a manicure/pedicure and tried to convince myself that whether I felt stressed out or not, exactly the same plot was going to play out. It was my choice to make myself crazy over it or not. That helped a little.
I also noticed that after I called H and told him I was driving separately and not sleeping at the hotel, I felt pretty good about it. It didn't turn out to be difficult to say, and it felt good to be taking care of myself by owning my needs.
On the drive down I listened to Pia Mellody's boundaries CDs again.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
Awesome! I'm reading her "facing co-dependency" book. You sound good!
Not worrying about the future is nice, but so hard!
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
