She said there was something concrete she wanted to talk about. She said seeing me in sleeping on the couch is no good for either of us and that she feels bad seeing me sleep in the living room. That I should think about either making the living room my own space (not a common space), move to the basement, or get my own place.
Why did you move out of the bedroom? The bedroom is the throne of the house and the LBS should stay on that throne. The WAS is the one that wants to end the M, so THEY are the one that should feel the inconveniences associated with that choice. If it were me, I would inform W that I'm moving back into the bedroom and then I would do it. I wouldn't ask her permission, nor would I ask her to move out, that's her choice to make. But there is no way in hell she would push ME out of my own bedroom because SHE wants to end the M!!!
I've said this to a lot of people and have heard a lot of excuses about why they "had" to move out of the bedroom. But none of those reasons sounded like anything other than pandering. Pandering does NOT earn you any brownie points with a WAS.
Likewise, the LBS should never move out of the house, although there are some instances where it can't be avoided (WAS owned house outright before M, or house is owned by WAS's family, etc.)
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Should I ask W in more concrete terms if she wants S or D?
No. Asking is pressure. Pressure will force her to make a decision.
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Her comment about not seeing herself wanting to sleep with me again, I really want to ask if she is planning on sleeping with someone else.
Don't ask, because she will probably lie about it anyway. Act "as if" you're moving on with your life regardless. Detach, get a life, quit worrying about what your W is going to do. It's outside of your control. Control the one thing you can- you.
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MIL and FIL really like me and telling them about my D might change that but I am ok with that.
Blood is thicker than water. They are on your W's side, not yours. Do not EVER talk to them about W or your R. You can talk to them, but keep it light and fluffy. If they bring it up just say you both need time and space to think things through and leave it at that.
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I was honestly hoping they would be the sense of reason to her if and when she brought up the fact she wanted a D.
They probably won't. They will likely encourage D because they perceive it as a way of ending her suffering (it doesn't, but friends and relatives are blind to that).
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I also want to let them know that I love her and want it to work out but I am sure she will see that as me trying to get them on my side.
Yes she will. She will think you're trying to rally everyone against her behind her back. That is the main reason you don't want to talk to them about the M. What you do want to talk to them about is all the awesome GAL things you're doing, so that when they talk to W they tell her "he's doing so well, he's doing X, Y and Z and seems so happy!!" You want to be mysterious, make her wonder what you're up to and why you're so happy without her.
