“There were two ways to be happy: improve your reality, or lower your expectations” ― Jodi Picoult, Nineteen Minutes
Looked things up and found this one that fits some what...I do like it because I think we are all on the path of trying to change our reality and if we can lower expectations of others they typically can not disappoint as easily...there is more room for appreciation and love I think.
Love what you IC said...so true and a good way to look at things...I think I have been trying to lead with hurt and trying to point out how I have hurt H too...but with anger it is hard to control and push it down forever. But also with Spouses I think they are also hurt and everytime H is angry with me I see as a mask to pain. I have been trying to apologize and restate the pain and hurt he tells me, and ignore the anger. Anger covers so much emotion...it is a protective layer for ourselves...I told H that I was not trying to hurt him but protect myself...now the reasons for this I am still trying to figure out.
Have to look up the book you are talking about. Everyones situation is different but I look at H leaving as not a typical reaction for my H, so it had to be pretty bad in his eyes to do what he did. I think my anger will not be in how he left but if he does not work on it. I do not believe he ever truely worked on it and think he sabataged our marriage by not communicating.
What a process for us all to go through...so hoping that in 3 weeks this look more up for you whatever they are.
