My WAW - coming to terms with it all!

[WAW_SC]

Just one more thing 25yearsmlc, your "gloss over feelings" about whether my wife's actions are justifiable are correct.

I was a pretty horrible person to be around last year, I made some nasty throw away comments and was too critical of her. I did not work on her love languages - words of affirmation and acts of service. I was too consumed by my studies, project managing our home renovations...and myself. I did not honour, love and respect my wife in the ways I said i would.

I have taken onboard all her critical comments of me and thought about whether they are justified. A lot of them are and I am going to confront them one by one.

I was rude
I was disrespectful
I was self absorbed
I was unhelpful
I could have been more supportive.

These are character flaws that i want to change for ME, because I am not happy being this kind of person. These are my goals for the immediate future

i know she has felt an enormous amount of pressure in the last years because I always wanted more sex than her. I think over time it turned her off me and she said she was relieved when i left as she wouldn't have to feel the pressure of having sex with me. Looking back, i tried not to make too much of a deal about it, but when we would get into silly arguments I would make comments about her lack of interest in sex or me. Over time those comments stuck in her mind and now thats all she remembers. I loved my wife and i wasn't just looking for more sex, but more connection with her and she was pulling away = Distance/ persuer cycle.
I never realised this is what our relationship became towards the end.

She must feel so liberated in a way, not having me around. Its hard to deal with the fact that the one you love thinks of their time with you as "pressured, tense and stressful" but its probably justified and she has every right to feel however she wants to feel.
I will try not to dwell on that stuff and remember that I actually was a good father, a good husband and a good man sometimes, but there was a lot of room for improvement.