Wife opened up to me this week about things that she was upset and frustrated about. Things she expressed:
A feeling of anger and grief over the loss of her career that she sacrificed to stay home with kids.
Frustration that she doesn't see a return to that career as a possibility anymore.
Frustration and a feeling of being overwhelmed by having to start over from zero on an education in pursuit of a new career.
A feeling that she is getting older and time is getting shorter for her.
A need to find something that she can do to support herself. Something that she likes and enjoys (which leads full circle back to anger and grief over lost career that she loved).
She blames:
911 Me for having a job that requires me to be away from home Me for not accepting a work arrangement where we had opposite schedules (she didn't want a au pair living in our home and we both didn't want to do interstate commutes for us to live close to my family) The challenge of having a special needs kid
Dissatisfaction with me spending money on our home for pricey improvements.
She asked me if I knew what she wanted. I replied that she wanted quality time. Time spent together enjoying life. She told me she wants to do things like go to Africa, swim with great white sharks, go on Safari. Big experiences. She then sent me a link to a Youtube vid of Ken Block on a Gymkhana course in France. She says, "I want to do this"!!!!!
She DID talk about us keeping our home for another 10 years. She did say something about the kids experiencing her vacation dreams too. I honestly can't remember if I was included or not.
I keep listening and validating. (and making my changes!)
