PW you will know when the time is right to totally move forward with your life. It wouldn't come as a surprise to me that once you decided to move on and were ready to be with someone else that she would then want to come back.
Why is that?
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
Because the WAS will then realize you are no longer a back up plan. That they have something to lose. They don't want you. But you can bet they don't want you happy with someone else.
PS. W has lost the Debbie downer tone and has that cheerful voice of old since our recent talk. Its nice she got rid of the monotone with no emotion. Its like I'm talking to a person again.
I was reluctant to have the talk but after so much dim...what did I have to lose? It seems things have taken a slightly positive spin.
I will be getting S tomorrow for his spring break. I am excited. We will be having dinner as a family Saturday night. Its been a while. I hope for minimal awkward moments with W.
I picked up s last night at w grandparents house. S was pumped up and clung to me through our short visit. They were very nice with hugs and an invite to stay for supper. W didn't move from her chair. Didn't even look up from her phone.
I had a nice short visit with them. She was being so weird it felt creepy to stay. I thanked grandma for the invite...but said we better go then gathered his stuff and we rolled out.
We've been having a blast ever since. Time to color some eggs. Later.
We went out for dinner and a movie tonite. W shows up with hives all over her face and neck and everywhere else I guess. I said you don't look so good, let's get out of here and go to the hospital. She said let's eat first and I'll go to the hospital while you and S are at the movies. I said OK. Don't know if I should have gone with her anyway, or did right by leaving her alone. I would have insisted on driving a friend who looked like that. It was pretty bad. But that's what she asked for. So I went with it. She was on an IV after the movie. Didn't want us to come check on her. Haven't heard since. Don't know if she is out or in there alone. Kinda kicking myself. Like maybe I should be there if I was a good person. Its just weird to know what she wants. I'm no mind reader so I go with verbal cues.
Don't try to read her mind. You'll drive yourself crazy!
Teach her that you'll do exactly what she wants. If she says no, then it's no. If she says no but means yes... She needs to be an adult and say what she really wants.
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
I took s back earlier tonight. We had a great week together. I'm sad and lonely now. Lying awake missing him. W too I suppose.
I've wondered how to break the ice in person. We can talk nicely, "normally", over the phone. In person she busts herself with housework, phone tapping... anything to avoid eye contact and genuine conversation.
I want an opportunity to get to know her again. I also fear that I may not like that person.
Wow pw I've been dealing with the same questions lately. I've been really depressed about the idea that, after all this DB, it may boil down to simple differences that no longer jive.
I haven't figured out a solution. I think, though, from a woman's point of view you can't go wrong with sincerity. If she can tell you're sincere it could break down the wall eventually. Being a woman, it kind of feels the opposite. My sincerity feels like a big red flag of desperateness. I don't know, it's just my frame of mind right now. But what I miss from my H the most is trusting his motives and sincerity. Sounds like you are trying to be your best sincere self and father. It will shine through.
