Breakdown, Yup, others thought we were nuts doing the geo separation.
I think I'll ask IC how I can begin to make amends with my choices in the past. I really do need that. Although I did tell W that I can do nothing about what has happened in the past, yet we have control of the future.
The prize? It was her attaining her goal to become a nurse and myself finishing the military and then we can focus on the kids and being together again. That was the intended "prize" from sacrificing. It all began when I had orders to go back to the US from overseas. That assignment I had no control over. She was already 2 yrs into her studies and the US schools wanted her to start over with their programs. We decided that we could tough it out and let her stay and I'll do my 3 years stateside and we'll go from there. BTW, I did take both of our children for 6 mos so she could focus on her finals. It was one of the toughest things that I ever did end up loving. I proved I could be a great dad.
The sacrificing I had to do was support two households without military assistance. Because it was our choice to go separate ways, it was out of our pocket. I scrimped on a shoestring budget for that time so they'd be fine. I also had to take a second job to be able to afford a plane ticket for the 3 of them to come over. I simply did what I had to do to keep things afloat all this time.
About the decisions without her, well I should have consulted more in depth with her on the first move, yes. I thought she was OK with it. Apparently, I now know she was not.
Buying the house was just so I could have a place for all of our stuff. An apartment would've been too small. But again, I learned a lesson there and worked my fingers to the bone to maintain and then try to recoup the value of the house in the end. I admit I should've really explored my options.
That would've been another woulda, ensure that we were "partners" on everything. I was the type that had a fix or a solution for everything and didn't always ask her opinion. A fail for me.
Thanks for your input, Breakdown. It's most appreciated.
