Hello From Tokyo! Husband has issues....

[MrBond]

Many of the things on the list don't sound like positive "changes".

"*I go out alone more, if a friend goes with me its fine but if they are unavailable i go alone."

Why is this a positive?

*I dont care where my husband goes or when he comes home, i dont question him. he is free to do as he likes.

Why is this a positive? A positive change would be if you didn't nag him about where he was going. Not caring about where he goes, as you described, just sounds like a lack of empathy.

"*I am more financially responsible, because of him kicking me to the curb i work more, make more money and have income to do things I enjoy while not relying on him. I dont have to worry about bills."

I don't see anywhere that he "kicks you to the curb". I notice you overdramatize things here and there. I understand that's your hurt feelings and resentment talking so you need to not let that cloud what's really going on.

"*I thank him more when he does small things for me"

THIS is a positive change. You never thanked him before?

*I am not so grumpy anymore when I am around other people or him.

THIS is a positive change. Were you grumpy before this happened?

"*I actively try to hang out with my friends more often instead of waiting for them to invite me. I take the initiative."

Good positive change.

"*I make plans to visit new countries and do some things I was holding back on because H didnt want to do them with me or wasnt interested. I guess its because I have nothing to loose anymore."

That's what your friends are for. Did he stop having those interests after his depression?

"*I take better care of my physical appearance. I wear makeup more, make sure my hair is styled and Im wearing nice clothing."

And you didn't before? This is a good change. Has he ever had an issue with the way you looked, like weight or anything?

*I study my own religion more since I dont have to take care of the H's needs I can focus on me and God."

Great positive change.

"*I am more interested in doing volunteer works as a result of me wanting space from H."

Well that's not necessarily a good thing. You should do it because it's something you like to do and not just because you're avoiding your H.