And actually, that kind of behavior is fairly common for her where my friends and family are concerned. If it were her friends and family and I acted that way, there'd be hell to pay.
I had a GF that was exactly that way, and man do I ever know how frustrating that can be!!
Quote:
I don't know that W can put things behind her. She definitely holds grudges - I'd say at an unhealthy level.
If that's the case then she doesn't understand what forgiveness is. If she thinks she's forgiving you, but she's still holding a grudge, well then she hasn't forgiven you. Because forgiveness is completely letting go of all of that. Forgiveness isn't about saying the words "I forgive you" at all, it's mentally releasing the wrong.
Quote:
To be honest, I think I'm emotionally exhausted from all of this. It's been a rough couple of years, and even from 2006 - 2011 were far from peaceful. Add in the fact there are several boundaries I have that she will in no way agree to (we did discuss this a little this morning), it's just best to end it while we're still capable of getting along.
Certainly you can't be faulted if you come to that decision, you have put in the time and effort to save things. I wish you the best whichever way you decide to go!
Quote:
She still believes you shouldn't have to work at love. She still believes her happiness lies in the hands of others.
I really think my W is in the same place. Early on in my sitch I described it as her thinking love is something you can just go out there and find, like a rock waiting on the ground that you can just pick up and make yours. Covey says in Seven Habits that love isn't a noun, it's a verb. It's not something that just is, it's something that you do. Unfortunately Hollywood paints a different picture and many people today fall for the Hollywood hype.
