Ah the shame & blame deal. I'm so glad you told me to read how to improve your marriage without talking about it. It's really helped my understanding of H and what to just not even talk about or when to stop.
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
