Dawn, If your h wants to be on the couch face down, then let him. YOu can't feel sorry for him because he knows that only he can fix himself.
So, you now have a grumpy roommate. Others may disagree, but I personally think you should cease doing anything for him, which includes laundry, meals, etc. for a bit. Live your life as if he's never going to participate in family functions or get his act together. Start doing for Dawn and your children. When he realizes that you aren't taking care of him, maybe, just maybe, he'll start to sense that you are moving on.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
