Every case is different, and in my case I'm trying to balance GAL and creating distance while at the same time practicing the 5LL. I now realize the importance to our marriage for both myself and my W to have our separate activities/hobbies as well as shared activities/hobbies.
I have been sailing since before we were married. My wife has come with me on many occasions, but she was never really interested in it. I was always content that if I asked her, then she would come sailing with me.
This has changed. Since we moved here to CA, which I take as coinciding with her full-blown MLC, she has not gone sailing with me. She was actively avoiding doing things with me. Only in the last month has she started to do family things.
In this case, the main issue I have is that the reason I'm going sailing on Saturday is that she informed me she made plans to go out with her girlfriend. Now that her "being single" plans are falling through, she will come with us. In this case, I just feel like her back-up plans.
My W remains equivocal about the marriage, so while we are in a much better place now (she is not talking about leaving), she will still say she is not in love. I feel I have backslide a little on distancing and GAL because of how good we've been getting along. I want to avoid or at least lessen these pursuer/distancer cycles.
