Don't beat yourself up, we ALL backslide now and then. Michele even says in DR to not dwell on it, but learn from it, pick yourself up and get back to DB'ing.
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I suggested that we stopped doing this and just concentrate on the children. Why? Again, selfishness and fear. She stated that she was enjoying our time together and thought things would work out. I immediately did a 180 (not a db 180) and explained to her my selfishness and fear. She said she would agree to continue what we are doing. I am very thankful for that.
Honestly I'm not sure I understand what you're saying here, but it sounds like the end result was that she's still on board with continuing to spend time together, right? If so then it was a minimal backslide.
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My question, I wonder how much time I have not set us back to a possible R? How do I continue to act/talk with her to give her the security that I will not suggest walking away again?
To borrow 25's quote, "consistent actions + time = change your S can believe in." What you did wasn't consistent with your recent DB behavior, so the lesson to take away is to be consistent. And be consistent over the long haul. That's what will convince your W.
