DBing, European style

[Papa4Life]

I've been reading many other posts on this BB and I think I'm really starting to get a very strong understanding of the DB process. The whole D situation really threw me emotionally -- like the feeling of getting knocked down by a few strong successive waves at the beach: You're gasping for air, don't know which way is up, and there's no sunlight to guide the way. Not to belabor the metaphor, but I realize now that I was swimming down instead of toward the surface, so hitting rock bottom, while unpleasant, at least help me gain my bearings and realize what I've got to do.

After some advice from AS to an earlier post, I decided to just be open about where I'd be and with whom and when I'd get home. As AS pointed out, if it's irritating her it's not bringing her closer to me. She actually seemed relieved when I told her that I'd be more open about it. I know for a fact that my wife has always been worried that I would be unfaithful to her, and I never would do that to her. Still I think there's some residual feeling there, so the thought of my dating or 'hooking up' is still somewhat anathema to her. I have to be honest: I feel like this somehow works in my favor. If W still has feelings of possessiveness about me, perhaps it's a sign that she realizes what she would potentially be giving up. Not that I'm such a prize, but I think our relationship was one of tremendous benefit to both us, but perhaps moreso for her because I chose to put my career on the back burner to take more responsibility with the kids (perhaps as compensation for a rotten childhood: I know, I know: daddy issues? here's a tissue).

I also read another post from AS where he talked about the problems with MC. I have to agree that W really perks up when the MC suggests SBRs or separation. It's like the MC is validating her negative feelings. I think I'm going to confront the MC with these concerns when I see her tomorrow.