Back again. Last time?

[someguy1233]

I have previous threads. I can't link to them from my mobile.

I just had a chat with W. During the fall she was pushing for divorce. I suspected an affair. We reconnected. She quit her high stress job and started working part time and staying home with S.

The last few days she's seemed different. She was staying out again. She seemed distant. At first I didn't suspect much, but the little bits of distance added up. I brought up the conversation tonight, asking her what's going on.

She said nothing that she wanted to discuss so late at night. I told her that wasn't fair since I know something is up and she's brushing me off. I said the anxiety is eating at me and that we need to be able to discuss us.

Her main points:
She feels like something is missing with us still.
She says she's happier than she's ever been, but something still isn't there. Something that's always been missing.
She's attracted to other people often... More often than she thinks she should be.
She admitted to an affair last fall. I told her I knew... I'd yet to tell her prior. She seemed surprised.
I told her everyone is attracted to others at points but its what you choose to do that matters.

She said I deserve better.. I agreed.

I said I had a lot to think about and had to decide what I wanted to do and walked away.

I'm tired of this. I give her everything I can and she sees it. But she says she can't, won't, or doesn't want to give me what I need in return. She flat out said she has a problem being faithful.

I'm debating divorce. I told her I don't want to be with someone that can't be faithful.

I hate what D will do to our family and S.

I don't know what to do.

I'm surprisingly calm. I think I'm becoming jaded from the years of this abuse.