Say What??

[2chiquitos]

MC session last week left me thinking long and hard about my sitch and about R. Do I want to reconcile?

I've been going full speed ahead without stopping and thinking about this.

I point out all the great changes H has made as a father and a friend but not as a partner.

He continues to say he doesn't want to be transparent in order to build trust. I left it up to him since everything I brought up he doesn't agree with. He believes I will trust him based on his actions.

That would be great if we were a new couple. We didn't have issues of trust.

Also, he continues to visit his mom almost every other day. This is a big problem.

a year ago I asked him, "why don't you stop seeing OW? Is it because she comforts you?" H said, "yes. I've only felt this way with my mother." DING DING DING!! Highly codependent on his mother and he wants that enjoyed that same relationship OW.

DB coach said, notice if he distances from his mother. He has in some areas but they are still very very very (unhealthy) close. She washes for him, cleans his house, sometimes makes him lunch for work. He visits her almost every other day with the kids so the cycle continues with my kids. Great!

His changes, he no longer helps his mom resolve her marital issues. Ex. Go talk to your dad about XYZ. Tell your dad XYZ. Convince your dad about XYZ.

Today at IC I shared about how H was never affectionate before sitch and much less now. She believes these are issues he will have to explore with his IC. She suggests I accept him the way he is and consider other ways of fulfilling this love language.

I felt deprived before our sitch, when he would go an entire week without touching me. I don't want to live this way the rest of our relationship.

The only thing that consoles me is to know that I don't need to make a decision today. I still have tomorrow to think about it.