Journaling: decided to take initiative and tell wife result of realtor talk, before she asks (this would have been the old way). She didn't like the result (renovation is not worth it financially), but she did like the idea of the house being easier to sell. The next logical question is then how easy is it to sell the house as is, i.e. not renovated, vs. renovated. How much time reduction are you buying with the money you lose? I'd rather take a longer time and make more money, if I were selling.
Also said I liked her 10 day US trip idea - Chuck at my DBing call today thought this was good, as it is win-win solution, plus we can then discuss together where we will go, creating more communication. Her reaction was positive to this.
Chuck also said I need to work on empathy and engaging her more when sore points come up. For example, if she complains about that she did most of the work on the house, I should say "you're right, that is an awful lot work. I'd be irritated too if that happened to me".
Chuck also thought laughter was good -
He then warned me to expect tests on her part, as my changes become apparent, and to be prepared for these. The moody or crabby state, for instance, could be counteracted with the earlier suggestion of "I don't need this attitude" and walking out, done several times and observing the result.
Now W is upstairs, and so my immediate opportunity to stay engaged and seem stronger to her is limited. Funny how there is a window of time when you can DB and other times when you cannot, at least not to your spouse. I guess this is when to GAL, read up more on DBing and plan.
D just came by to tell me that she and I will be buying a set of nice tea cups for W's birthday.
Enough for one day -
L
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
