One thing I forgot to mention. She brought up specific things about what she is concerned about if we reconcile. She said, "my concern is you make all these changes and then get me to believe, but months later you start going out one night week or saying you have a business meeting" It was great to specific examples of what she was worried about because those are changes I really have been working on
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
Her concern is that after a year or 2 back together that I would just revert to old ways once "I got her back" I just told her I understand why she would feel that way, but that I was working on becoming a better man and father regardless of what happens with us.
My W said something similar, but I pointed out to her that I could never just put the marriage on autopilot again because now I know how dangerous that is. I never knew before. I told her I would be committed to working on the M constantly with her, because there's nothing to stop her from walking out the door again, she's already done it once!
Not that it did any good, we're still separated. But I thought it was a good response, LOL!
Lol AS. I know. I just want to understand so bad that things will never be like they were before. That's not what I want in life anymore. This is my bed for now though and I have to lay in it. My only real concern at this point is something I can't control. And that's another man coming along or her getting emotionally involved with someone. But there is nothing I can do about that. Other than that I believe it's really a matter of being patient and continuing to work on me and things will work
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
Ok. So wife just left the apartment. I watched son for a little bit while she went to barn and when she got back he asked my son if he wanted to stay for dinner. Then she asked me and I said of course that's fine. She was here for about an hour and half. Anyways, it's so awkward considering I'm not goin to bring up "us" conversation and its not like we are spending time doing things together so what is there to talk about. She's not the best communicator anyways so I always would initiate conversations, but of course I'm not doing that now. She is one who likes texting and facebooking a whole lot. It's just so much dead silence and feels awkward to me and begin to wonder is there anything to work on then. Is this normal? Also, we are taking son(3 and half years old) to play putt putt Thursday afternoon and then will spend Sunday together for Easter. Any ideas how to lighten the mood? I use to make sarcastic jokes or things like that, but I'm working on getting rid of verbal abuse and now those jokes don't seem as funny. Help!
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
AnotherStander, I love that reply with regards to not being on autopilot ever again. Sometimes such simple sentences can mean so much. Thanks.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
Any ideas how to lighten the mood? I use to make sarcastic jokes or things like that, but I'm working on getting rid of verbal abuse and now those jokes don't seem as funny. Help!
I thought that was very nice. I lived in sarcastic humor that was usually me-deprecating and it became less and less funny over time. Silence and genuinely wanting to be more considerate sound so much sweeter to me.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
