Ok, spoke too soon. It's been a avalanche of comments on being separated, single parents etc. maybe the problem is I have relaxed a little because of not hearing it and have pushed W further away. Def time to pull back. So hard when living in same house with kids. I want to be with kids but so does W and at moment W seems to want to do own thing with them. Need to get some more focused goals I think to stop drifting.
2.4, since you're living together in the same house, I think there is hope. In my case, I think though DB-ing I was able to go from immiment threat of her walking out, to a limbo where we are together but she is not any more committed to our relationship. But being together allows me to try the 5LL each week and hopefully improve our relationship.
So just keep giving your W space, don't pursue, you end conversations first, act busy at home or distracted, leave the room first, etc.
For me, at first some of the things I did was acting based on me trying to detach. Now, I realize some of these behaviors are now natural. For example, last night I was on the couch reading a book, my wife sat down and wanted something, and in a non-rude way told her let me finish this page, before I reacted to her. In the past, I would have dropped the book immediately. I think these seemingly little actions/behaviors add up to get the message that my life is no longer dependent on her. It also gets her thinking about why I seem so content.
