DBing, European style

[Papa4Life]

Thanks, Stander. I appreciate the feedback and tips.

That's similar to the way my W felt about my 180's. They see all these changes and their inclination is to think they are a trick to get them back after which we'll revert back to old ways.

I find this pretty amusing: what would I have to gain? She would just walk out again!

If it's irritating her then yes, be more open with her. You don't have to tell her everything, but something more than "out" might make her less angry, LOL!

See, this might just be "more of the same" behavior on my part. I used to always feel as if everything needed to be completely tit for tat, 50/50 right down the middle. So, in other words, if it felt like W was asking something of me, I would feel that she needed to compensate for my sacrifice later. For example, if W went shopping and I stayed home with the kids, then she had to pay that back by giving me time later. I mean, that sounds reasonable, but I admit that sometimes it could go a bit far. So, if I feel like W is doing her thing without being compelled to inform me of her whereabouts, then I feel (perhaps unjustly, I'm now seeing) that I shouldn't be required to volunteer that information myself. The thing is: part of LRT and going dark is "being a bit mysterious". So that was also what I was trying to do, but maybe it's pushing W away instead of bringing her closer. She says she only wants to know where I am in case of emergency, but I think that's a specious argument because I -- like every other human being on the planet -- have my cell phone with me. Maybe I should be flattered that she is concerned about my whereabouts.

The kids come first. You should continue any activities that make things less stressful on the kids, assuming your W is willing.

This is a very nice sentiment, and I appreciate it Stander. Maybe to assuage my sense of insecurity I should just say, "Look, if you invite me -- and if I have the time -- then I'll assume that you want me to come along, and if you don't really want me along then you'll let me know that." I do indeed want to give my children every possible happy day that we can give them. Assuming indeed that W is willing...