Thanks for the dream analysis Bklyn. She does still depend on me for so much. I need to stop being there for her all the time. 99% of it is dealing with the boys, so I'm always afraid they'll be the ones punished. You know, she still eats supper with us every night. One I've prepared. I know you made nice meals for your family, so you probably understand how I feel.
FY, I have not set any boundaries. I'm not even sure what they would be at this point. I'm afraid being honest with the boys would hurt them and allow her to move farther away. Plus, I can't tolerate the mommy and daddy aren't in love anymore speech. I want her to own up to this mess, and not lay part of the blame on me. I'm still fighting like crazy, and still love their mother.
We are planning a vacation this summer as a family. She's pushing for it. I'm willing to go but am leaving it up to her to make the arrangements. She's not had the time to do that so far. Got lots of going out to do, you know. She has said it would possibly be a good time to reconcile and renew our marriage. Well, what are we waiting for???
Two other things I failed to mention about last night. W stated at one point that S6 had changed and didn't even look like himself, then commented that S9 is starting to get bigger and develop more muscle mass in his legs. I just laughed and said, "yeah, they're growing up." Too bad she's missing out on the best time of our/their lives for having family fun.
I'm just tired. Two boys by myself for days on end is a lot of work. Add that to missing my companion, the love of my life, my girl. But, I'll keep moving forward.
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
