Get comfortable and ask every single question you need to. If something doesn't work, switch it up a bit. I sense you are avoiding any talk about single parenting and separation with W...understandable, no one wants to have these conversations. My suggestion to you is to say "That's a great idea, we both want to spend as much time with children as we can, what do you suggest in the terms of activities and going out?" Let her take the lead. If you are totally out of sync, just validate her responses (I understand...the kids are great to spend time with...yes the children need a mother and father in their lives...whatever) and say that she has given you a lot to think about and continue convo another time. Sometimes, it's best to shut up and wait a bit until you can be sure you can open your mouth without blowing it completely.
Okay....time to start living for you. GAL...now. What are you doing? I want you to post a list. As I said, physical activity is good, you will find many of us exercise to deal with all the stress and emotion. Everything gets a bit clearer, at least for a while. I am running a half marathon...I don't run.
If your wife looks great...tell her. "Say, "you look great today..." But leave it at that and go on. Don't do it often, stop the puppy dog eyes (lmao) and say it with a smile on your face...practice if you have to.
Detachment definitely is a layer thing and you will feel like you are doing great then BAM Emeril, you think you haven't detached at all. That's because you did, but not necessarily from this particular aspect, behaviour or situation. Detachment is like layers and everyone's frickin' onion is a different size.
