Divorcebusting.com  |  Contact      
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 11 of 11 1 2 9 10 11
JuneReN #2332640 03/25/13 11:27 AM
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 674
S
subguy Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 674
Quote:
A crap load dude, a crap load. But know this, the new stuff you do, on your own, or with kids, is very sweet.


That is not the answer I wanted lol, I was looking for that magical pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

I still need to work on my ability to communicate. I had one of my techs get a little sideways with me the other day at work. He started cursing and raising his voice with me. My reaction was to curse and raise my voice back. I basically said for him to back the "F" off or your fired (that is not how I wanted to react). I spoke with the owner of the company and he asked me why I reacted the way I did. I said because I felt attacked and I attacked right back. My bosses response was well... I understand that and may have reacted the same way, however he cannot steal your dignity or your birthday. He asked if I was ready to speak with the offending tech and I said not yet as I am still emotionally invested in the incident.

How I wanted to respond: Listen, validate, handle my emotions, evaluate the situation, respond appropriately. H.E.A.T.= Handle your emotions, Empathize, Assess the situation, Take appropriate action. I did none of those things, lol I failed miserably.

Before I would have just cursed right back and sent him to the unemployment line. Now I want to figure my response out, why he acted in his manner and figure out how to prevent this from happening again. He can be a good technician and I hate to lose someone who can be an asset. I also want to learn and grow from this experience.


You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
subguy #2332668 03/25/13 12:53 PM
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 2,695
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 2,695
It is very cool how you get to look at yourself a little more objectively, isn't it? This is a lousy gift we get, but a gift nonetheless. Sounds silly, but I am very proud of you my friend smile

subguy #2332707 03/25/13 02:38 PM
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
Originally Posted By: subguy
Quote:
A crap load dude, a crap load. But know this, the new stuff you do, on your own, or with kids, is very sweet.


That is not the answer I wanted lol, I was looking for that magical pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

I still need to work on my ability to communicate. I had one of my techs get a little sideways with me the other day at work. He started cursing and raising his voice with me. My reaction was to curse and raise my voice back. I basically said for him to back the "F" off or your fired (that is not how I wanted to react). I spoke with the owner of the company and he asked me why I reacted the way I did. I said because I felt attacked and I attacked right back. My bosses response was well... I understand that and may have reacted the same way, however he cannot steal your dignity or your birthday. He asked if I was ready to speak with the offending tech and I said not yet as I am still emotionally invested in the incident.

How I wanted to respond: Listen, validate, handle my emotions, evaluate the situation, respond appropriately. H.E.A.T.= Handle your emotions, Empathize, Assess the situation, Take appropriate action. I did none of those things, lol I failed miserably.

Before I would have just cursed right back and sent him to the unemployment line. Now I want to figure my response out, why he acted in his manner and figure out how to prevent this from happening again. He can be a good technician and I hate to lose someone who can be an asset. I also want to learn and grow from this experience.


This is growth, painful but growth nonetheless. Like I said in a recent post on my thread, cutting out the bad parts is sometimes like amputation without anesthesia.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
labug #2332771 03/25/13 06:05 PM
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 2,595
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 2,595
I applaud your recognition of where you can grow subguy. Really well done. Its amazing (in such a GOOD way), how DB is so much about challenging us to grow in all aspects of our lives. I think when we can start seeing that, changes really are for ourselves and not only/just to get save our Ms. We really are saving ourselves...from ourselves.

(((((( ))))))


TPS
Me: 44 H: 42
M14 T17
S10 D7
10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month
21/04/12 H is 'DONE'
04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010)
July '14 H ends affair
May '15 H moves back home
Page 11 of 11 1 2 9 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Michele Weiner-Davis Training Corp. 1996-2025. All rights reserved.
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5