Is there light at the end of the tunnel Part 1?

[Bel123]

Regarding MC, I agree with the others that you might want to drop it. Often when a WAS is one foot out the door, they're just looking for validation that they're doing the right thing. My W sat in MC barely saying a word. Finally after several sessions the C said "I don't see any progress being made, perhaps a separation is in order." Suddenly my W perked up and became totally involved in the session. She was FINALLY hearing what SHE wanted to hear!! She couldn't agree with the C faster! YES, a S, what a fantastic idea!! Frankly I think it's better to have no MC at all because MC is just a form of pressure to the WAS at a time when they want no pressure.

AS... I am starting to think that way as well. Most of the time we were in MC, especially with the latest one, the MC brings up a lot of things and W feels like she is being picked on. She confronted her about lying and some other things so she hated going there. She even said she feels like she is walking in to her execution every time she came. I was feeling like anytime in there she would just shut down and say it is over. With this last go I am hoping she will agree in on working on our own self and see if we are compatible. The MC did ask me though why do I want to stay and what makes me think that W will ever work on it since in no terms did she say that. It seems they want to push for D or S if both are not willing to work on it. And since I was the one pushing W to come to a decision (before knowing about DBing) how do I go back and say take some more time to think about it. Even W has said before how I was the one asking for a decision and now I am ok with limbo. I have told her though a few sessions ago that if I am her source of unhappiness, she can leave and I will not stand in her way.

So tell me AS, how did you handle it when W sparked up for the S?

My W said that as well about MC being pressure. She is the one that suggested this the current one but the current one was on point. She brought out the good in me and broke down all our communication and had us clarify. MC told us that W does not receive any of the good messages. Even the good positive messages were being blocked by W and it is impossible to work on M if she does not accept those messages.