Not confused, still emotional, getting very angry

[BRNR]

stay dim and memorize those 37 rules... Always be as pleasant as you can...

I am working on the pleasant part...it is more just very matter of fact...I know I need to work on that.

And wanting to chat like buddies? Maybe better than wearing satan horns and tail and enduring endless spew and anger, right?

This is very true, and has been mentioned to me before by AJM, but the thing is, I have no desire to be friends with him without the rest of our relationship. I almost feel like he is trying to demote me from a high level position to an entrance level position. I would just rather be fired than insulted. Ego I know, but he and I both agreed in our major blowout that we were each others best friend and we both have lost that. For me to allow him to have a best friend in me, and a lover in possibly another woman is just cake eating that I will not tolerate. SO, in other words, all or nothing for me.