No surprises. I had hoped for one (at least a card) but did not expect it.
xSO called my house late the night before my birthday. I was not yet home as my out of town business ran late. He left a message saying happy almost birthday, hope I enjoyed my trip and "long time no talk". He said he would call back later and it appears that he did but no more messages.
As far as I can tell, there were NO calls on my actual birthday, although a blocked number tried numerous times to get through. I have those blocked so they never get answered. I think the blocked calls may have been from xSO but I do not know for sure. No one who has my cell number has a blocked number.
In the end, the difference is nothing of "more of the same". Either he could not be bothered to contact me the whole day or he was calling from a blocked number, further confirming my suspicians that he is back with GF and they had plans. Again, what difference does it make if he did have GF plans? The bottom line is that he knew where I was and made no effort to see or contact me in all that time.
I called him when I got in late that night. No answer. Surprise.
I felt the nail in the coffin. I do not want to be treated this way any more. I do not want someone in my life like that. I have been holding onto what was and forgiving for what is. Not that I wish him ill or anything; I just now wish me to completely detach and move on. I am resigned to the fact that he does not love me anymore. I have learned that resignation and acceptance are not the same thing. Acceptance is when there is some peace. I have none.
As a "newbie" I never thought I would get to this point and thought the people who did just must not have cared so much. Nope. I have realized that sometimes there is a straw that breaks a camel's back and that taking care of ourselves means making a decision that is going to hurt.
Is this the END? I do not know. But it is a change in the direction of the wind.
