Wife privileges reinstated, back in my own bed!

[mamabird]

I wish I had more time for GAL and socializing... It's hard at the moment but I know I need to be doing things a little differently. Making a little progress I guess.

Anyway it does seem to be two steps forward and one (or two) back at this point. H has a terrible habit of blaming/judging during arguments, which ruins all the goodwill and hard work. Yesterday and today we argued and it is always the same: I say something that H interprets as unappreciative or dismissive and he reacts by completely going off. The resolution to uesterday's argument was that I needed to be more open to feedback and he needs to deliver his feedback in a more constructive way. But all of that went out the window this morning. Same dynamic, but he counters with "you are the whole problem an I'm not doing this anymore". Not sure what to do with that besides leave the room.

As a weird aside to this, we actually were having this argument while a friend was over to pick up my younger son for a playdate. S9 had a soccer game and was looking for his shin guards. S9 said daddy couldn't find his shin guards. I said "sometimes daddies need help looking for things.". The friend and I had a laugh about that. I said to the friend, "see how nicely I said that?" (h was not in the room). Then the friend pulls out this folded up piece of paper from his pocket that his therapist gave him - a little communication guide. Kind of random, but well timed. I made a copy of it. I guess he and his wife have had their share of marital troubles and are struggling just like the rest of us.