My painting party wasn't for you, I like blue!

[albamarie]

So far into Sun there has been no adult compromising, I am trying to have a logical conversation with a child like, unhealthy minded grown man. I want him to move out and create a life for himself to do the things he feels he's missed out on due to being married w/kids.

I am aware that these are not the reasons his life feels as if he's never lived, but he needs to go through something, in order to come to his own realizations. Sleeping on my couch (again) and bitching for almost 4yrs now has not yielded any results, but it has caused a lot of hurt and pain throughout every member of this family.

Sat he said he wants both worlds and will not give up this one, and doesn't want me to cut myself from his life. He is facing the fact that he may not have a choice in that being that he is the cause of my decision and is not willing to make the necessary changes.

I have expressed that I need to put my home back to a full family home, with company and dinners and open laughter, and that is my main goal for asking him to make some changes. I also told him he is not diserving of my good graces and I no longer want to be his homemaker. This is his home and family if one day he so choses to treat us with the respect we deserve, until then he needs to give us our space to be a happy family.

His response was pissy like a child and manipulative, like a man who wants what he wants and is now going to lay face down in my couch because he needs to face the reality of his sitch. He spat that I am convincing him he should let ea go, just after he spent the morning cruising past her house to say hi. He spat even if he did, he wasn't going to return home a happy man.

I am not asking him to come home, he keeps bringing himself to these conclusions that he needs to return since I am asking him to leave. It seems when it comes down to it we are his priority and that is his struggle. He says that the life on the N side of town is not fun, it's a huge burden, it's a broken life style without God, and we are better.

I have tried without sadness, blame, ultimatums, anger, or guilt to have him see that it's just time to have the last bit of respect to let me make this decision for me and the family. My kids don't speak to him and he is being left out of the g-kid decisions and then probably life all together if we don't make some changes from status quo-

I believe if he takes some time for himself, and lets us heal a bit, maybe he wont have to be totally eliminated one day from our lives, at least theirs. I know he's scared but it not about him anymore, it's our time, but I don't know if I should be insistant and how far should I take it...give a fair time frame warning and then change the locks?