DBing, European style

[Papa4Life]

I could REALLY use some help from the veterans or other LBSs right now. I have FINALLY embraced the idea of letting go, acting as if and LRT. I no longer initiate convos with W, I'm treating her like a casual acquaintance at work and doing 180s. Some of my 180s include NEVER giving her grief when she wants to go out with friends or work, taking more responsibility with the kids' activities, doing lots of cleaning and wash at home, and going out more with friends. I feel as if I might even be doing TOO much, because she told the therapist it seems 'superhuman'. I don't know if it is working, but I'm going to stick with it because it makes me feel good about myself to know that I'm making an effort.

One thing that bothers me is how my wife insists on asking where I'll be and who I'm going with. Whenever she calls to say she's going out after work I say 'OK, have fun. See you later or tomorrow!' If she asks me where I'm going or where I've been, I give a vague "Out :)" and she gets irritated. Should I be more open?

Also, what do other people do about family gatherings, holidays, vacatins etc? A few times she's gotten cross with me because I went with her somewhere and accidentally enjoyed myself too much, haha. What is a good policy for dealing woth this?

Please, I'm in the 59th minute of the 11th hour and I could really use a few tips. Thanks.