Hi Bug! I think you did just the right thing. You didn't let it go and fester, you were moderate and reasonable in your message. You made the point clear that H telling S does not necessarily mean S will tell you, so H now knows he needs to tell you when he's coming over early on a Saturday. Well handled, IMO. When people correct us we may react with embarassment or sometimes that initial feeling they're being unreasonable that later fades. Who knows why H didn't say anything else before he left, or why he seemed possibly mad? It's his to deal with. You made a reasonable request about your home to take care of your needs, and in my opinion that's very good.
I'm struggling with the same issue here and am kind of waiting for something more formal before bringing it up. So I'm in a waiting pattern while H sometimes texts me 5 minutes before he gets there, sometimes 30, but so far it's always after I have made some other plans. I'm trying to just roll with it, but if he came first thing in the morning I'd feel intruded on and would make a request just like you did. I'm expecting that when I buy the house from H and set up a schedule where he's invited to come get the kids, his feeling of ownership that enables him to come and go as he likes will diminish on its own but we'll handle it then if it's still a problem.
Anyway, I think you did great with H there.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
