Another dollar in my one-man show

[Big Bruce]

Hi guys,
25 yearsmic is right, first the theory, then the application.
1) It starts with heart. What do I really want? To win? To save the appearances? To prove I was a good guy? It takes honesty to not look at the problem source only outside of oneself but rather primarily inside. (That doesn't mean W is perfect either).

2) The problem comes from perception. I explain. The pure facts are that I did lots of extra sports and activities. No positive or negative judgement on that. My point of view says, translates, interprets that as a natural thing at best, a neutral thing at worse. My W point of view is that in such a critical time as the birth of our child, and given her state of tiredness, it simply meant I didn't't care for them. Our stories are different. Our "movies" lead to different feelings and emotions. I feel i'm being a good husband because I work and leave the W take care of the household. She feels neglected, unloved, mocked, taken for granted.

3) The sentiments lead to action, you know the action she took. Now, to cope with the shock, I make up three stories that I end up believing. First one, I'm the good guy, i'm the innocent, the victim. Of course I am, I only worked, cared for my family and played sports with my friends. And therefore, all of this is impossible to understand and deeply unfair.
Second story, she's the villain. Now, her separation is the ultimate proof, if needed that she is evil. And it explains a lot of things, so it's very convenient indeed if she's the deranged one. And finally, i'm helpless, there's nothing I can do about it, and all my subsequent actions are not owned by me because it all happened despite me.

4) because i'm so convinced I have little to reproach myself, instead of asking W for her point of view, opinion and where she comes from, the only thing I do upon arrival in Canada is try to strike down every argument she makes with pure logical maths. It isn't before long before she is trying to strike mine down. Now instead of dialogue, we have a jerk off the husband on one side and the crazy wife on the other side.

5) it's not about the real subject anymore, there's a toddler in the middle and W is all about keeping him far from me, and hitting me in the mouth by asking as much money as she can. I'm outraged of course and it's not about understanding her and being honest with her feedback, it's about demonstrating how tough it's going to be to separate from me and how much she'll regret it.

If my first part of the analysis is correct, I think I know what to need to do to amend my path. Sharing with you on my next post.