Oh sweetie, I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I am concerned for you.
This is such hard stuff. Really hard.
I know that you have tried therapists, but keep trying. It took me four to get to amazing one I found.
You are still so young and have your whole life ahead of you. I hear you on how you grew up. I understand it.
I think you need to get out of the country and put yourself among people. Put the house up for sale and see what happens. You can always change your mind.
The only way to do this, is though it. And it is up to you to change your life.
Dont worry right now about whether you will be alone. No one knows what the futures holds. Right now you need to concentrate on getting yourself back on track.
