The Waiting is the Hardest Part

[reachingHigher]

I still really want to ask her a bunch of questions. Basically take her temperature and push her a bit I suppose, but I'll hold off for now.

I really understand this, I really do!

But I'm glad you are holding off for now.

I want more answers now too, very much. I noticed the answers I am getting now are coming slowly, and more in the form of "why" not "what". I may never get the answers to some of those questions I have curiosity about, but I'm starting to realize I don't need them.

I noticed for myself, in wanting to ask questions, it's more of wanting to know something that will reassure me. Maybe somewhere my H isn't there yet. But I WANT him to be so the pressure is on to ask the question. And if you don't get the answer you wanted .... they feel pressured and close off a bit .... and you feel disappointed.
At least that's how its worked for me.

I think you are doing great waiting. And you've got the excitement and energy of the class. And you've got the love for W. Now you just have to extend the patience!

It's been a year for you since BD? It's been a year for me since H moved out. A long time, I know.

I listen to this song often from Carole King:

"And I know that the future
Depends on you and me
I hope we can work it out
Eventually

Hey, maybe someday
Eventually."

I think of you and the others here sometimes when I listen to it.

Hugs,
rH