Not confused, still emotional, getting very angry

[BRNR]

Thank you AJ. I needed this. I am feeling the anger leaving, but all is left is sadness. I prayed very hard this morning. I want my H back so much, my heart hurts.

I went to my sons soccer game and he and I did not even acknowledge each other. Such a stab to my heart. The last time we are that event, we were happy, and together, though on shaky ground. But we were talking. I am not sure avoidance of each other will get us through, rather it seems it is tearing us apart. And yes, I know we are already apart. I hope so much we can give our relationship another try. Most couples always seem to give it a go once, and it bothers me that he is so closed to trying one more time. I don't understand this, and know I never will.

I feel like I am back at day one with my hurt. Detachment is going good as I am not concerned with what he is doing, but I love him and want him back in my life. I miss him so much.

Listen to me ramble. You all probably think I am crazy. I can one person feel love, anger, hurt all at the same time. Maybe I love him more than he loves me. Maybe he never loved me. I just want my husband back, and am willing to do everything I can at all cost.

But when you grow further apart, I guess there is nothing that can be done....


Sorry to ramble, I am an emotional mess today, crying, spewing, hating, loving, everything. I just wish we could have another try.