... but so many negative feelings are getting in the way right now. The last 48 hrs have been anger.
I know this is because I have felt like I have had no voice in this whole thing, no say, no chance....
... and now because SHE is ready... we can have a cup of tea.
Ugh - I feel the anger and "victim" pose seeping out from those very words.
I think you are allowed to have those feelings, they are valid and they are yours: neither right nor wrong, just yours. How do you express these feelings is the question? Keep praying and come from the angle of love (not a door mat).
Quote:
Can my want and need to be a best Val now.. outweigh the pain and fear that was caused then?
I think they are one in the same, follow my logic here (of course it may be way off base but hay?!?!). The new better Val was created through the pain of your/her past actions. Without having to walk through the fire so to speak, this new, cool, fun, exciting and living life Val may not have happened. As hard as it is try to look at this as yet another opportunity to grow and work on you. Pain yes, but a temporary, way less painful event then before. Heck you can do this standing on your head yodeling.
Will you let her know just how much you hurt through this experience?
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
