Not confused, still emotional, getting very angry

[BRNR]

Just venting---

So, I am still angry, but for some reason it is having a very good affect on detaching. Bonus, I think.

Despite my best efforts, H has noticed that something is wrong...again I think to myself no sh!t. But oh well, I just keep my mouth shut and barely say anything, only one, two word answers.

And not that it matters as I know he is in replay, but it seems that he is trying to get himself in my good graces...telling me that I look nice, doing things for the kids that will "help me out", and still asking me how my day is and such. Can I say all I feel is ... Go away and leave me alone...ugh!

Today he called my cell over something stupid that could have been asked via text. I originally let it go to voicemail and didn't answer, and then, here I am the nervous one, because he left a voicemail saying "I want to talk to you about something" and then it was something stupid. I did my best to compose myself.

And then when he picked up the kids, I told my boys to have a great weekend, and that i would miss them both, and he said "well, you can pop in on us anytime you would like, you know where we will be". My response, nothing. I really don't want to be around him any more than I have to.

Unfortunately because of the kids I will have to be around him at least twice over the weekend...soccer game, and my sons birthday, hopefully I can do better with my emotions...who knew I would feel this way. My anger isn't really over H, more than what he has done to my life. Am I getting my bearings, sure, will I be okay, sure, but I am no where I expected to be at this point in my life.

Tonight I plan to watch a movie and hit the sack early. I think this anger is leaving me emotionally exhausted....

Thanks for listening and letting me vent...I feel a slight release being able to let some of it go here...