It's fine to vent and you said that's what you were doing, so no problem there. Just keep in mind that there are things you can control (YOU) and thinks you can't control (YOUR W). So focus on what you can control and detach from what you can't control. Because if you're detached, then this:
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I think this is too long to be away from a 3 year old
And this:
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She didn't even call at all yesterday to talk to him or Tuesday same thing.
And this:
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The fact that she can put all this effort and so much energy into finding a horse, but won't put any effort to try and make this marriage work.
Will have ZERO impact on you, and will not do this:
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It drives me crazy.
I don't think we can ever post this blurb on detaching (by Peanut) enough around here:
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II. Detachment
Detachment is critical to the process of altering and repairing a relationship.
Attached, we take personally all that is said, not said, done and not done.
Our ego gets wounded and we are more inclined to those actions that will undermine our very best chances of accomplishing our goals.
We cannot control the actions of another. We are, however, responsible for our own actions. We are responsible for our own happiness.
If we are detached from the actions of another, we can meet anger or indifference with love. Met with love we are in a position to diffuse the situation and transform it in a way that will be in alignment with our goals.
On the flipside, detachment allows us to play it cool when we do get a positive reaction from our spouse. It is a way to break the distance/pursuer cycle.
Detachment is not withdrawal. It is not the mind saying, ‘I am not getting what I want so I must pull back.’
It is the natural acceptance that I am alone responsible for how I act. I cannot control another person, but I can control how I respond to them."
You are taking everything she says and does personally. Your ego is getting wounded by her actions. You cannot control her, but you CAN control how you respond to her. Are you meeting her actions with love, understanding and acceptance or with bitterness, anger and frustration? One is detachment, the other is attachment/ codependence.
