M1, You've asked the million dollar question and my answer is, yes I do love her. I wouldn't cry over someone I don't love. I didn't cry over my ExW when she had a PA and I asked for DV. The problem is with my W, is that we have been apart for so long that we've lost touch of how we feel. I kept my heart in the back of my chest to minimize the pain I experienced while being away. Then when I was visiting or vice versa, I exhibited that I was strong and doing well despite our geo separation. What I should have done was show my true feelings and express to her how much she means to me through the "little things." I needed to hug her more "just because." I needed to compliment her more often. Perhaps it was a bad idea 2 years ago to go along with her suggestion to not say, "I love you" at the end of our conversations. I figured it was her trying to be the tough one too. Thank you, M1 for pointing this out. It's a missing element.
