AS, As of now I haven't had a conversation on the phone with W for 2 weeks now. You may be right that the "going dim/dark" might not work in my sitch since it's what has probably brought us to this point. I asked her last night if we could chat sometime this weekend, and she asked, "what about?" I said, "to listen to each other about how we feel and perhaps we can understand one another about this sitch." She said OK. We'll see.
To answer about the bad decisions she claimed I made, it had to do with the various assignments we were given and that she was under the impression that it was at my request to move for all of them. I think she figures that had we stayed longer at those locations, matters may have been different because she would have been able to be around her friends (foreign nationals and Americans)longer. She blames me for that. She also brought up the fact that she told me not to buy a house when I was stationed in the US (while she was attending nursing school in Europe) and yet I did it anyway. I did admit to her that it was a dumb move and I didn't have all the facts of what my options were, but I luckily broke even when I sold. It was a life lesson for me and it only affected her when she came to visit.
You're right, validation doesn't steal your dignity. I just meant that I didn't want to continue as a sobbing mess. I know that my biggest F-up with me is that I have been talking about me and not listening to her and others. I've really been missing out. I'm currently working on that as a 180. Especially since I have nothing now to share with others. I don't want others to know about my sitch. Only my counselor, sister, and my boss. I'm in a "small town" and don't want stuff to spread.
