Db'ing and being on the receiving end of an unwanted divorce, and the personal self examination of becoming a man only a fool would leave, all require courage and character. Hiding or glossing over the fact that you taped her, or even trying to blame her for causing you to do it, in my view, are cowardly. Face the fire and do better from this day forward. We all have done things were not proud of; no one here's a saint.
I'm not blaming her for anything at this point. I did what I did because I had to know otherwise I was going to drive myself crazy with my imagination. I know I have had alot to do with her decisions so far. Right now I'm trying to change me to be the man she wants.
