I realised my actions of showing love were Acts of Service, Quality Time (but more in the sense of spending time together), and Physical Touch (in a sexual sense). But I think my W are probably, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time (as in listening and remembering), and Physical Touch (the more loving, affectionate ones). How wrong could I have got this! Problem is I am confused as to how this can help me now our R is in this state.
It is not unusual for us to have a different LL than our spouse. We think we are speaking our LL and they dont hear it. Men are natural sexual pursurers and emotional distancers.
So one of your 180's has to be to stop pursuit. That is where detachment comes in. Unfortunately sometimes the sound of our voice can be thought of as pursuit. So it make words of affirmation a tough one. There may come a time and a place to show your love. Do it with actions not words. Keep remembering that your changes are for you, not to win her back.
Also I believe that some people speak one language but hear a different one. So keep that in mind. Once you read DR that will help too.
