People reading these posts might think I'm despondent, sad or depressed. Really, nothing could be further from the truth - I'm simply analyzing recent events and how they fit into the bigger picture - my life, welfare and happiness. DBing has helped me overcome many things and get to a point where I'm happier with who I am now. I am actually happy most of the time, feeling better health-wise, have a better R with D's, meeting new people and picking up some old hobbies I had given up previously, and some new ones.
Every Friday night I go out with some friends at work for dinner and a few drinks. My D's and I spend more time talking, playing games, and just in general getting along better since I've let go of a lot of stress. I've always enjoyed learning about electronics and I've picked back up with my first computer I ever owned (from 1982) and am learning what makes it actually work. I've also always enjoy radio controlled planes and cars, so I've got an R/C truck, and D13 has one and we race them around the yard. I've gotten back to working on my own cars/trucks as well. While I don't currently have a project car, I am planning one (thinking something like the Impala from the TV show Supernatural).
To some, the above may seem superficial. But, I gave up almost all of those hobbies when W thought I was spending too much time with hobbies and not enough time with her and the D's a few years back. The irony is that last year she said I had become too clingy and seemed to need t be around her and the kids all the time. So I guess the lesson here is balance... Granted, not every minute of every day is occupied with those activities. I still have work around the house that needs done, etc.
I'm in NO WAY happy about being in a failing M, that is another subject altogether. Overall, though, I'm far happier than I've been in years. There are things missing from my life right now, but, I try not to focus on those and try to make the best out of it.
I'm the only one responsible for my happiness, and I'm taking that duty back.
