Crimson........Winds of change blowing???

[labug]

This ^^^ is what concerned me when I said don't jump too far, too fast.

Be aware, Crimson.

[AnotherStander]

I agree with azguy and Inside Out, view this just like you're dating someone new. Perhaps you're different from me, but I would NEVER ask a new lady permission to hold her hand. You just go for it when the time seems right, and if she doesn't want that then she'll let you know. If you haven't read the Married Man Sex Life Primer in a while then you might, it is a little overboard in places but there is some great advice in there on good, strong alpha behavior that's appropriate for dating. Asking to hold hands is very beta

So I guess I need help/clarity/direction here - once again I am in new ground in my situation. Not sure if I should be posting this here or in "piecing" - mostly because I am not 100% if I am piecing or not.

Not quite there yet although things do sound very positive You're not really officially in piecing until your W declares that she wants to reconcile.

She said that she fears that we will go back to a spot where there is no passion or affection in our relationship...so I totally get where she is coming from. But at the same time I am afraid to show it because I partially fear that she doesn't want it from me and I just don't want to get smacked down.

Sounds like you're engaging in a lot of paralysis-by-analysis. Just quit it!! Enjoy the time you two spend together and just let things unfold! If you keep stressing over every little thing she does and how she's going to react to what you do then it's going to be really obvious to her and she's not going to find that attractive. Be confident, relaxed, content and happy around her. If you push to hold hands or something and she pushes back, don't pout! Throw her a little "oops I'm a bad boy" grin and let it go! Just act "as if" everything is fine! She doesn't want to hold hands, no biggie, you're still your own man!

[keep_going]

Crimson,

I have continued following your journey and read all your threads. I just want to show my support and tell you that I feel for you - you are in a tough situation. I admire your patience, your kindness and love towards your wife and son. You deserve happiness in your life.

I hope you read and re-read and digest very well what Sandi2 is saying and consider it carefully. Like she says, there are simple ways for you to assess where your wife is at this point with you and your R. You deserve to know where you stand and it will help you determine your next steps.

Sandi2 - wow... your insight and wisdom is such a treasure for all of us to read, not just Crimson. I follow and read every one of your posts.
Thank you for sharing.

((((Crimson))))

[2chiquitos]

Hi Crimson,
I've never posted on your thread but H n I are in the same place. I want him to hold my hand and his excuse is that it feels awkward. Of course it does! I believe that it will feel awkward before it feels comfortable. Just annoys me especially since my LL is physical touch! no advice but to let you know that I'm side by side with you on this journey ;-)

Sandi2-Wow, this made me think a lot about my sitch...

[Valeska19]

Crimson,
How are you encouraging change within your w?

[sandi2]

Thank you. That means a lot.

[Crazyville]

C, the difference between your sitch now and a "natural" approach is the difference between a toddler learning to walk the very first time and an adult learning to walk again after a debilitating accident requiring physical therapy. It would be ridiculous for the adult to complain that it doesn't seem "natural" and easy. There is damage and pain and scar tissue to have to deal with. You're absolutely right. She's being unreasonable and fantastical, like Sandi said.

[Crimson]

Sandi and all,

Thanks for your input. I have thought about those issues at length as things have seemingly begun to thaw a bit. I do not want to be exploited for a roof and other provisions - but as our discussions deepen on the topic, I am slowly starting to believe that it may not be the case. Notwithstanding, I am trying to temper my enthusiasm with a dose of caution and reality.

Tonight she asked if I knew of any books or other resources to help in the rebuilding process. Does anyone know of any? I don't think MWD has a book strictly on this topic, does she?

Crimson

[2chiquitos]

after the affair!!

[Crimson]

Even if there was no affair??