My wife is having affair with a mutual friend

[tryingtilDorR]

If you are in a situation where WAS won't end the affair, but won't work on the marriage either (the two usually go together), then I have seen first-hand and also read about accounts where either threatening to disclose the affair to the OM's family, or actually doing it, causes the affair to end because OM does not want the information to come out or to hurt his family. The OM is someone who doesn't really deserve much consideration in this situation, given that they are having an affair with someone's spouse.

It could be a choice if the WAW refuses to end the A and you still want the marriage to have a chance of survival.

Then again, if the WAW won't end the A then the other choice can be to just wait it out and keep working on yourself using DB techniques so that you know YOU will be OK in the end either way.