Valeska19 - no and no I'm so scared of getting hurt that I don't even test the waters.
MC session left me feeling very defeated. H doesn't want to rebuild trust the same way as I do. This is why we returned to MC. I thought that after 2 sessions we would come to a bit of an agreement.
Let me rephrase that, I thought that after 2 sessions, H would give in to my ideas on how to rebuild trust. Instead, he continues with the "it's awkward" "give it time" "go by my actions" blah blah blah.
I want a grand gesture. That's right, GRAND! like 'get off your lazy a$$ and do something that will turn this whole sitch around' gesture.
I feel like I need to accept that this is as far as he'll go. He's not going to budge and I'm not going to get the grand gesture or the minimal gesture.
Back to your ques V. I will not hold his hand. I'm afraid. He said that the thought of holding my hand is awkward. F- that! We hug. that's it... everything after that is f- awkward.
I'm in a funk about this. can you tell?
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
