Thanks TVS the finger will do nicely, actually, all ten at once.
Updating...by the time H came home I was already a lot calmer and had made a decision only to bring up the issue if I felt the time and mood was right to do so. H arrived home from work late. I was heading out the door to GAL at the time. I asked him how his day was and noted he was late. I tried to be normal. He senses immediately when my mood is different. He asked me what was wrong. I said..did you get my txt? No he didn't have a chance to look at his phone all day. I told him what I had sent and why. Again the dropped shoulders indicating his shame..I said why did you do that when you told me you wouldn't? Oh OK I will stop. No apology, no explanation. I have learned it works best if I don't continue to hammer him or deepen the shame he already feels and push how I was right again(old me). Maybe his regret is only that he was caught and not smart enough to stay a step ahead, but I give him the benefit of the doubt and try to concentrate on the positives.
So moving ahead again on this roller coaster ride. Doing my best and realising that the mothership continues to drop around and he is not over this yet. Making progress but still not at the end.
Some days my biggest challenge is me. Have I had enough? What am I doing here? Is this what I want? I love this man there is no doubt..there is so much wrong here but also so much that is right.
