Starting about almost a year ago, she started reading romance/erotic novels nonstop and spends every minute of her free time reading them. I have mentioned to her that she might be addicted, but she became very defensive and denied it. Has anyone else had this problem? I feel like when she reads those books, our relationship doesn't resemble the ones in the books (i dont think anyone in the real world does) and makes her resent me and our relationship.
I do recall one other thread where a woman started reading Fifty Shades of Gray and started engaging in affairs that involved sex acts as close to those in the book as she could find. She was locating people through online forums as I recall. The H posted for a while but I think quit, so I don't know how their sitch ended up.
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Another issue I have is how she decided on a 3 month separation as the first step, before talking to me sooner or suggesting counseling or books.
Have you read DR? Michele talks about how the WAS tries for years to get through to the LBS but doesn't, so they eventually quit trying and slowly plan their exit. It might take months or even years. But when they quit trying, the LBS thinks things are GREAT because the WAS isn't nagging anymore. So when the WAS announces their departure, it's often a shock to the LBS. Their reaction is "but everything was fine, why is this happening?" But it's not "sudden" to the WAS.
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I don't initiate any conversations or physical touch, hoping she'll come back around now that I'm giving her that space she desires.
And she might, but it takes a long time. Months and months. Sometimes years.
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If she wants to go through with the separation after the counseling tomorrow, should I make her leave the house and dogs? When she first talked about the separation she mentioned that I should leave since my parents live in town.
Here is part of the convo I had with my W about this, this was drawn from these forums, DR and Dobson's "Love Must Be Tough": W, I want you to stay here and work on the M with me, but above all I want you to be happy, and if leaving me is what will make you happy then I support your decision and will help you however I can." She later approached me and asked why SHE had to leave and not me. My response was: "You are the one that wants out of this M, not me. I want to work on the M and I want you to stay here and work on it too. But if you don't want to work on the M, then it's you that needs to leave. I'm not going anywhere." It's VERY important that this be a calm, rational discussion. No yelling! My W told me that she understood my position and she never asked again, she just started looking for her own place.
