Thanks FY, I shouldnt complain because compared to some on these boards I seem to have it easy and get to see my S each weekend.
As you are well aware it gets so frustrating especially when you feel like your rollercoaster is coasting if you know what I mean! but better than a nosedive I suppose.
Like Monday I dropped off S things. She is wearing a top I bought her ages ago when I went on a weekend trip with eldest S. She has never worn it before (and I assumed she didnt like it - I remember mentioning it ages ago that she hadnt worn it - its over 2 years old now)yet now decides to wear it.
Found out today she has also been e-mailing BIL (my sisters H). He is a good guy and actually W felt good about it because they had a few jokes. But I also got the I am sorry it worked out like this talk when she was telling me... but that she would like to stay connected with family on my side.
We had a hospital appointment with youngest S today. I suggested Monday to W that I go to hers early and we take him together as opposed to meeting at the hospital. She agreed and the appt went v well.
We then dropped S at school together and went back to W place.
She hadnt walked the dog and invited me along so I accepted. Had a nice walk for about 5 miles but the conversation did dry up. It didnt feel awkward but I felt I could have been a little more talkative at times. But again W did so much talking, showing me all the local places, where she takes S etc that it was nice to have a bit of quiet. It almost felt like we were a couple again!
She also volunteered to start dropping S off on Saturday mornings at my place as opposed to me travelling to hers after work. She said it would give me Friday nights to myself. I thanked her and said perhaps not every week, but an occasional Friday night off would be good. I have a work night out on Friday at the end of April so said it would save me trying to find a sitter and means I would not need to rush back.
Went back to hers had coffee, then I played with dog a little before leaving. She looked a little sad again which was a complete switch from how she had been all morning (she still does this a lot - one minute really chatty and happy, the next looks like she will burst in to tears)
Also, caught her looking me up and down as I wore a new tight fitting t-shirt that prior to going to the gym I would have never worn!
To keep my PMA I am going to take this as achieving my goals of doing something with S and W together (even though it was a hospital appt) and doing something with W alone(the dog walk).
W also mentioned S needed new shoes. I suggested going shopping together with S during the easter school break and that I could take a day off work - it is a 2 person job taking S for shoes! She agreed.
I still need to start being a bit more outgoing and fun. When we talk it feels so comfortable that it is like the old M...but not different. I need to spark it up a notch, be a little different in how I communicate with her.
She is away with the girls this weekend so will not see her Monday for drop off. Eldest S will be there until she returns. S also has a carer who will drop him off and pick him up on the bank holiday weekend so won't see W after tomorrow for 3 weeks!
This is not great timing and will be the longest we havent seen each other since BD. Not sure if thats good or bad? Part of me wonders if it will give us chance to miss each other properly.
BTW forgot to mention the mothers day perfume. I did give it to her. She text me on mothers day and said thank you for the lovely gifts it was a lovely surprise. She signed off with a kiss.
