AS thanks for this, I never knew and I always ask what is wrong...
I used to as well (still have to stop myself mid-sentence sometimes), I think as guys we're programmed to respond that way from an early age. And we'll also say things like "my wife was crying last night and I have no idea what was wrong with her." It's like we're taught/ programmed that any display of emotion on a woman's part means something is "wrong". So here we are always saying "what's WRONG?" And they tell us "nothing", meanwhile their BFF is holding them and patting them on the back while they pour out their emotions. Why? Because their BFF doesn't ask what's wrong, they ask "what are you feeling right now, do you want to talk about it?" Women are naturals at validation, but we suck at it, LOL!
AS I am eating up your advice on how to validate, I though I was doing a good job, listening, eye contact, but I was saying the wrong things. You seem to have a great grasp on what to say after listening, are there any books that you recommend? Maybe there should be a thread "AS guide to Validating" with more examples! I am writing your comments down, great stuff!
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
